Peach and CoCo: Mr and Mrs Peach and CoCo

We’re getting married!

Whup – no wait. CoCo and Peach are definitely NOT getting married. We are 1) not in New York and 2) too much infatuated with handsome manly meaty men to go down that magical road.

"He'll pick you Peach." "No no, he is totally into you Coco"

However, we DO want to say congratulations to all the totally legal-to-marry-each-other folks in New York. And we found ourselves chatting –alternating tones of scorn and longing- about our fantasy weddings, as wistful single women with clocks ticking are apt to do.

Congratulations!!
You are rockin turquoise & marriage now

We both came to several conclusions, the foremost being that neither of us is interested in a traditional wedding. We feel that expensive, customary weddings are a little like when you walk into Target in September and the isles are full of Christmas decorations.

what is this?

Like, somehow an unintentional commercialism has crept into a couple’s special heartfelt ceremony of ultimate love proclamation. Somehow, out of the color coordination and buffet menu comes bride-zillas, epic debt, too many sets of flatware, shallow gossip, and unnecessary drama. Which song will we play for the first dance? The world is going to EXPLODE into lava if we don’t agree on the PERFECT song for the first dance!

This is our special day you asshole! Get back here and make it magical, dammit!

Our ideas for wedding fun and practicality:

1. Instead of a Bed Bath and Beyond gift registry, invite guests to bring their favorite booze as a gift. We are booze loving adults who like to build our booze collection, and if the friend or family member writes his/her name on the bottle, that’s the bottle we’ll bust out when that person comes to visit.

Pictured: Always a winning gift.

Someone seriously registered for this. Seriously.
Yes, this is a rock.

2. The ceremony is short. The reception goes all night. Unless both are held in the same venue, we don’t see why so much money should be spent on church decorations when it could have gone toward a better live band, or party favors, or a motorcycle.

Saving on pew streamers can get you this!

3. All-inclusive resorts! Go to Mexico, London, Antarctica, wherever you’ve always dreamed of going. The novelty and escape is just as festive as and much more alluring than a dressed up rent-a-hall in your local Marriot.

Best Mexico wedding of all time. Margarita time!

4. Your favorite holiday! Or any theme. Themed weddings always contain a touch of fun. Has there been a Halloween wedding yet, people? I’d love to go to a Halloween wedding!