Mr and Mrs Peach and CoCo

We’re getting married!

Whup – no wait.  CoCo and Peach are definitely NOT getting married.  We are 1) not in New York and 2) too much infatuated with handsome manly meaty men to go down that magical road.

"He'll pick you Peach." "No no, he is totally into you Coco"

However, we DO want to say congratulations to all the totally legal-to-marry-each-other folks in New York.  And we found ourselves chatting –alternating tones of scorn and longing- about our fantasy weddings, as wistful single women with clocks ticking are apt to do.

Congratulations!!
You are rockin turquoise & marriage now

We both came to several conclusions, the foremost being that neither of us is interested in a traditional wedding.  We feel that expensive, customary weddings are a little like when you walk into Target in September and the isles are full of Christmas decorations.

what is this?

 Like, somehow an unintentional commercialism has crept into a couple’s special heartfelt ceremony of ultimate love proclamation.  Somehow, out of the color coordination and buffet menu comes bride-zillas, epic debt, too many sets of flatware, shallow gossip, and unnecessary drama.  Which song will we play for the first dance?  The world is going to EXPLODE into lava if we don’t agree on the PERFECT song for the first dance!

This is our special day you asshole!  Get back  here and make it magical,  dammit!

Our ideas for wedding fun and practicality:

1.       Instead of a Bed Bath and Beyond gift registry, invite guests to bring their favorite booze as a gift.  We are booze loving adults who like to build our booze collection, and if the friend or family member writes his/her name on the bottle, that’s the bottle we’ll bust out when that person comes to visit. 

Pictured: Always a winning gift.

Someone seriously registered for this. Seriously.
Yes, this is a rock.  

2.       The ceremony is short.  The reception goes all night.  Unless both are held in the same venue, we don’t see why so much money should be spent on church decorations when it could have gone toward a better live band, or party favors, or a motorcycle.

Saving on pew streamers can get you this!

3.       All-inclusive resorts!  Go to Mexico, London, Antarctica, wherever you’ve always dreamed of going.  The novelty and escape is just as festive as and much more alluring than a dressed up rent-a-hall in your local Marriot.

Best Mexico wedding of all time. Margarita time!

4.       Your favorite holiday! Or any theme.  Themed weddings always contain a touch of fun.   Has there been a Halloween wedding yet, people?  I’d love to go to a Halloween wedding!

...and I promise to suck your blood through good times and in bad, for better or for worse...

We looked online at traditional and non-traditional wedding photos, and came up with a few hilarious results…

Actual cat wedding (Really, owners?  Really?!).  Cost: $45,000. 

Actual wedding containing cats.  Cost: everyone's dignity

The altar was an eighth month journey away.  Some guests died getting there.

Fool storm troopers!  No one but the bride may wear white!  You fail again!

They coasted right into each others hearts!

A whole new meaning to "coming up for air."

Till death do you part... seriously.

uhmmm....

A very bountiful (bounciful?) marriage.  He can't stop gazing into her - we can't even finish the joke.

We'll end on this note.

Green Peach and Coco: Our introductory guide to the Emerald Citayyy

Coco and Peachy are brand spanking new Seattleites - Seattlens... Seattleons? Inhabitants of Seattle! And they have found some treasures that are worth checking out upon arrival to this sparkly green city. Most of these places are markets, restaurants, and clothing stores. Coco and Peach are grad students with no moneys, therefore if you are actually looking for a guide to “what’s really super expensive, artisan, and fancy in Seattle” then please look elsewhere.  Come back after our classy grad degrees have been acquired and we will show you around the money lusty parts o' town. For now, hop on the bus or our bike handlebars and we'll show you around!

First and foremost- Seattle's ‘I’ district or the International district. Reason: Cheap!!!! You can get a foot long Vietnamese sammy for $2! Yes that is NOT $10, $6 or even $5.  It is $2 and it is amazing.  Gooey seasame steambuns, yeah they got those too, for 50 cents. Here are some Peach and Coco’s favorite little spots in the International district.

Saigon Deli 

1237 South Jackson St # East, Seattle, WA 98144-1908

Tamarid Tree

1036 S Jackson St #A, Seattle, WA 98104-3016

Uwajimaya (or Wowymama! as we call it) Asian Food Market

600 5th Avenue South, Suite 100, Seattle, WA

yummy sweet sweet cheapness

Coco and Peach have also spent some time on “The Ave” which is University Avenue where all the U-Dub kids hang out and do cool things. Coco and Peach hang out there sometimes, but probably not being that cool because their favorite store on the Ave is called Gargoyles and Statuary. Here are some of the hotspots on The Ave:

Gargoyle Statuary  gargoylestatuary.com

4550 University Way Northeast, Seattle, WA 98105-4511

Red Light Clothing Exchange  redlightvintage.com

4560 University Way Northeast, Seattle, WA 98105-4511

oh my goth

Peach spent a lot of time in the neighborhoods of Beacon Hill and Columbia City, here are some of the best places to visit there. Full-Tilt Ice Cream is worth the effort in finding. They have old school arcade games and a friendly, unpretentious atmosphere. Full Tilt has the best flavors, ingredients and prices, sans the stupid attitude that is like “hey our shit is like super artisan, so that means it is better, and we can charge like a billion dollars for sugar, eggs and cream”

Full Tilt Ice Cream 

4759 Brooklyn Avenue Northeast, Seattle, Washington 98105

Geraldine's Counter Restaurant 

4872 Rainier Avenue South, Seattle, WA 98118

Ok, let’s take a trip to the heart of the city. The downtown area is a tourist trap but does have a lot to offer. Peach and Coco have not spent that much time there due the minimal stacks of that beautiful green paper that allows one to make it rain.

Penzeys Spices 

117 Pine Street, Seattle, WA 98101

Seattle Public Library - Central Library, because it’s free and smelly!!! 

1000 4th Ave, Seattle, WA 98104

our church of awesome
our place of worship 

Now What?!

What to do while waiting to start college part 2 / Grad school!

1.       Find a home

-not in a sketchy neighborhood despite the fact one is going further and further from campus

-away from all those college part 1 kids who drink beer and party and make noise all through the night

-where-in one can quietly sip wine and socialize and study academics all through the night

-at the same price range as a college part 1 kid

The flat screen is behind the Monet, of course.

2.       Get a job

-either right away at the nearest Barnes and Noble, complete with immediate regret and long term mental/emotional devastation

-or three months later once one has finally registered with the university and is qualified to apply for relevant university jobs associated to one’s major

-after an eternal month of odd chores done for parents, neighbors, friends of parents and neighbors and begging for loans and/or scholarships

Does babysitting also montage into an overcoming the odds heartfelt championship?

3.       Get to know the new town

-by walking around nearby neighborhoods and finding main roads

-and decide how far is too far to ride a bicycle to save on gas money

-by getting lost at midnight with a dead phone and a shred of sanity

Corner of 2nd and 35th?  How is that possible? Then left on Fuck You HaHa Ave.

4.       Make some friends

-through transactions with over-personable associates at places of business

-by starting a bank account

-from hanging out too long with one’s own parents

That'll be $7.63.  Also, what's your number? Let's hang out later, random customer.

5.       Get back into some artistic hobbies

-because one’s broke ass can’t afford a tv right now

-because the new home could use some personal touches

-because one still doesn’t have a job yet and needs a more satisfying form of procrastination

-because one’s dream of musical stardom suddenly seems possible what with all the practice and writing time now available

How could one be reduced to selling club memberships with such a talented mustache as this?