Crocs-a-GoGo, Crocs-a-NoNo!

Let's talk fashion

Peach and her brother were recently having a long, collegiate discussion about fashion; and to their surprise, agreed that there was one piece of fashion in particular that was an atrocity to all mankind. They spent hours pondering why someone would create such a beastly piece of footwear. Peach has decided to share. Sorry if you are offended. We hope to appropriately convey our disdain in this blog. Here is the beef:

Crocs are not shoes. They are garden clogs. Plastic clogs you wear in a garden.

Here is the argument – wait! Hold on, where do we even start??

First of all they have holes in them. That is ugly, that looks like a scrap-booking project gone wrong. Horribly wrong.

Second, the color pallet with these shoes is like going into a kindergarten class during craft time. Or worse, it is like the plastic ball pit at chuck-e-cheeses. Like, the designer of these shoes went to a pit of plastic balls, got inspiration, and he was like, “Wow! Those balls are so beautiful! I shall turn them into shoes, and we will all wear them! It’ll be like we’re walking in fun rainbow land happiness shoes wherever we go.”

 

Even Ronald McDonald is shaking his head at these shoes, and he is a clown! The thing with the colors is… hold tight. There is only one good example we can show you that really illuminates this aggressive and offensive croc behavior. Just so you all know, Coco and Peachy will never be caught on the town with the gentleman or gentlelady who sports duds like these:

 Before some folks bring out the pitch forks and start rioting, let’s take a brief “exception” pause. If you are a doctor, bartender or someone on your feet all day, and these shoes are utilized as part of your uniform, then more power to you. A job that requires scrub or coverall-type uniforms, where one is on his or her feet all day is an appropriate croc-wearing situation.  It makes sense that you would want to wear garden clogs at your job. It’s practical and logical.  And, check out these medical fashionistas rocking crocs like they should be rocked:

Crocs are not lip gloss. They not some insignificant accessory, they are shoes. If you want aeration on your tootsies, wear sandals.  Normally when you see someone on the street with holes in their shoes you are dropping a dollar in their cup. 

As we are nearing that wonderful season of bunnyliciousness, which some people like to call Easter, it brings to mind another Patton quote concerning Christmas shoes, but he basically asks where in the bible it says that Jesus is catty and concerned about fashion footwear.  “I died for your sins, but honey, those shoes are unforgivable!”  If Peach and CoCo were Jesus and saw the previously pictured gentleman at the pearly gates, that would be exactly what they’d say. Also, Peach would throw in “Hey! Those shoes aren’t holy, they are hole punched!”